Tuesday, 10 December 2013

The Life Changer



In a blink of an eye everything I thought I knew about my life changed for good.  It didn't happen with a bank or a sudden instance which would affect my life forever, instead it was just a desire to find some kind of change.

It started about 2 months ago when I realised that I was likely to lose my job.  I would love to say that I was the victim of an unfair system and victimised by the big wigs in charge.  Truth is, I just never really felt the burning passion for the financial industry that others would feel.  I can fake things well but after working in it for over 6 years I thought enough was enough.

So the question became, what is it that I really want to do?

The answer was easy though, because I had always done the one thing that had always made me happy.  I found joy in writing, and in being creative.  I would look at notebooks in stationary shops and would imaging the things I could fill them with.  So I knew I wanted to become a paid writer.  It was not exactly a new revelation, I currently work as the literature editor for a great website called So So Gay and interned at the seminal gay magazine GT.  But it really is the career I dream of having some day.

However, in order to get the dream job I need to really let my whole life change, and part of that has been getting a new job.  This is how I came to accept a job as a restaurant working as a kitchen assistant/waiter.  Needless to say my mother was not particularly happy, but she is a worrier about these kinds of things.  She sees me with my mortgage and my bills and my chronic addiction to spending money and wonders how I will manage with minimum wage.  These are questions that play on my mind as well, I must be honest.  But then, as I reflect on the 9-5 job I realise that there was no real time to do any of the things I wanted to do, and that I was well and truly living to work, instead of working to live.  The distinction may not seem like much to some, but to me it means a great deal.

Thinking about things it is true to say that nothing is permanent, and that change is inevitable to all.  I have two choices, to accept the change that is coming or to reject it.  I choose this time to accept it and find my happiness in what is coming, maybe even have fun with it.

So there you have it, the first of what I hope to be many stories to come as I try and find my way through this new chapter of my life, working towards finally achieving my dreams and finding happiness in doing so.