It really is all about me!

OK it has been a little bit too long since my last post - but, what can I say - life continues to be getting in the way.  Whether it is my new job as a chef in a restaurant - my ambitions to become a journalist, my friends, my home etc it all conspires to keep me so busy that I don't really have the time to write as much as I want.  However, this morning I woke up with a sudden urge to reopen the old girl and give everyone a bit more of my story - and who I am in the grand scheme of things.

Let's start with the basics *assumes a calm almost interview like pose* Hi, my name is Scott, I am 26 going on 27 and live in the countryside in rural Essex.  Before you ask I am not your typical Essexboy so please leave all your TOWIE preconceptions at the door - that being said I wouldn't mind if Dan Osbourne was a regular fixture in my life ... I mean come on!

I am also gay *pause for effect* I know such a shock!

As I said last time it was my lifelong ambition to be a writer - however, I allowed myself to give in to doubt in my adolescence which meant I never had the courage to go out and do it.  Instead I went to university to study law.  It seemed like a good idea at the time until I rather unceremoniously dropped out at 19.  It was a hard decision but I felt like the more I did the course the more I was distancing myself away from being the person I wanted to be.  

So with no degree I found myself in need of work and ended up in the financial industry.  Honest to god it was never meant to be for long - maybe just a year so I could decide what I wanted to do with my life.  However, the year came and went and before I knew it I was so firmly entrenched I wasn't planning on going anywhere.  However, after some instances of bullying I ended up changing firms and teams before December 2013 when I found myself jumping ship to the world of restaurants.  It has been a big time of adjustment and I will talk about that in more detail another time. 

As a writer I have achieved a somewhat decent level of success.  I have been working with an online website for over 3 years now devoting several pieces across various subjects.  I even spent some time as a theatre editor for the magazine for a while before leaving the post to focus on other projects.  I then returned as a literature editor in the middle of 2013 and have been publishing reviews of books and interviews with some of the most talented authors of the new generation.  I even got to do some work with GT as an intern and absolutely loved the experience - in short making me want to be a paid writer more than anything.  Since my career shuffle at the end of last year I have also decided to take up my NCTJ qualification - since most of my work is in shifts it means I have time to devote to studying between all my other commitments.  It is scary to put myself through study again - especially home study - but I am at the age now where a challenge like this is exactly what I need to keep my ambitions alive. 

Now that most of the vital statistics are out of the way - but there is a little bit more to me than that too.  I am an avid gamer and film and TV addict, and much of my rare downtime can be found in front of the TV with Netflix or playing with XBox360 or Playstation 4.  I also own my house and rent out rooms to lodgers - including my dear friend Claire who is often trapped in front of Netflix along with me.  My other close friend Jake is someone I talk to almost every day - but he has recently moved away to another part of the country and miss him a lot.  I also have a weakness for fast food and even the barest smell of McDonalds is enough to make my mouth water - though I do love a well made Italian meal best of all. 

Well that is a start - maybe not all the best bits about me - but a start to show people a bit more about the real me.  I wish I knew what the future held for me with all the things I am doing and all the things I dream of doing.  The future is scary - but also thrilling in that way.  Still I promise to be a better blogger and post a little more often in the future.  

Catch you all soon!

The Life Changer

In a blink of an eye everything I thought I knew about my life changed for good.  It didn't happen with a bank or a sudden instance which would affect my life forever, instead it was just a desire to find some kind of change.

It started about 2 months ago when I realised that I was likely to lose my job.  I would love to say that I was the victim of an unfair system and victimised by the big wigs in charge.  Truth is, I just never really felt the burning passion for the financial industry that others would feel.  I can fake things well but after working in it for over 6 years I thought enough was enough.

So the question became, what is it that I really want to do?

The answer was easy though, because I had always done the one thing that had always made me happy.  I found joy in writing, and in being creative.  I would look at notebooks in stationary shops and would imaging the things I could fill them with.  So I knew I wanted to become a paid writer.  It was not exactly a new revelation, I currently work as the literature editor for a great website called So So Gay and interned at the seminal gay magazine GT.  But it really is the career I dream of having some day.

However, in order to get the dream job I need to really let my whole life change, and part of that has been getting a new job.  This is how I came to accept a job as a restaurant working as a kitchen assistant/waiter.  Needless to say my mother was not particularly happy, but she is a worrier about these kinds of things.  She sees me with my mortgage and my bills and my chronic addiction to spending money and wonders how I will manage with minimum wage.  These are questions that play on my mind as well, I must be honest.  But then, as I reflect on the 9-5 job I realise that there was no real time to do any of the things I wanted to do, and that I was well and truly living to work, instead of working to live.  The distinction may not seem like much to some, but to me it means a great deal.

Thinking about things it is true to say that nothing is permanent, and that change is inevitable to all.  I have two choices, to accept the change that is coming or to reject it.  I choose this time to accept it and find my happiness in what is coming, maybe even have fun with it.

So there you have it, the first of what I hope to be many stories to come as I try and find my way through this new chapter of my life, working towards finally achieving my dreams and finding happiness in doing so.